Monday, August 30, 2010

IUI #2 Complete & Confession

IUI #2 was a success Saturday morning.  Mr. MBC had nearly 27 million sperm post wash.  At this point, I'm telling myself that AT LEAST one of those 27 million will reach my egg or eggs.  Fingers crossed.

I have a confession....Mr. MBC has no idea about this blog.  I was contemplating telling him a few weeks ago, but then I found out how he felt about keeping everything private.  I've found myself wondering if this is considered lying?  Mr. MBC is truly my best friend, but I feel like this blog has become my outlet.  I don't cry nearly as much (at least not in front of people) and it's nice to get stuff off my chest.  Does your husband know about your blog?  Does he read it?

In other news, Mr. MBC and I have an appointment with Dr. L tomorrow afternoon.  Dr. L is proactive and wants to discuss and modify our plan in case this IUI cycle is a bust.  I'm hoping this appointment is a waste of time and money.  I honestly think he will want to do a lap to make sure there is nothing hiding in my ute.  I'm fine with surgery - oddly enough it doesn't even scare me.  Part of me wishes we would have done this before starting IUIs.  If that's his plan, I think I'll go ahead and schedule the surgery.  If I have to cancel it, FANTASTIC.  If not, then I don't have to worry about being out of the TTC game for another cycle. 

Oh, and I've started taking Brome.lain each night.  I figure WTH, it can't hurt?  It's all natural and if I was eating pineapple daily I'd be getting the same stuff.  But OMG - it's a freaking horse pill!  How is it I'm okay with surgery, but complain about horse pills?  IF really messes with your mind, eh?

Friday, August 27, 2010

IUI #2 Tomorrow

I had my follow up appointment yesterday morning.  I was a little disheartened by the ultrasound.  Just tow days prior, I had 5 follies that were all within 2 mm of each other.  I thought for sure I was going to have 3 to 5 targets for MR. MBC's swimmers.  But the ultrasound showed only 1 mature follie and another that is likely to catch up.  I know I should be grateful because some people have cycles cancelled for poor response, but it still stings.

Even though I only have 1 or 2 mature follies, I feel like my lower stomach is going to explode.  It is so bloated and tender.  I feel like someone is inside my uterus with a hammer.  I had about 4 or 5 follies that were are 12 mm or less.  I guess all of the small ones add up.

Last night Mr. MBC gave me my HCG trigger and the weirdest thing happened.  He's given me this shot 5 times prior to this and is a pro by now.  But last night, as soon as he took out the needle I started gushing blood.  So much that it was down to my knee before he could grab for a tissue to wipe it.  It didn't hurt or anything, but all the blood was odd to me.  Anyone have a similar experience? 

Mr. MBC is scheduled to be at the RE tomorrow morning at 7:30 to provided his sample or JIAC (Mr. MBC's favorite new IF acronym.  Thanks Sulfa!)  Then I'm scheduled for the IUI at 9:00. 

I hope everyone has an enjoyable weekend.  I want it to go by quickly because then we're closer to the kick-off of college football season!  Roll Tide! Who's your favorite team? 

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Update on IUI Cycle #2

I started my Folli.stim injections on CD 3 and took my last one last night...or so I thought.  If you remember, I'm doing the same protocol as last month - 100 iu per night for 6 nights. 

Well, I went in for my monitoring appointment this morning and I had 5(!) measurable follies - 4 on the right and 1 on the left.  (WTF is up with my lazy left ovary???)  They ranged in size from 12 - 15 mm.  I also had bloodwork to check my estridol levels.  I checked my voice mail a little while ago and my levels were "good" according to my nurse.  She told me the numbers, but I can't remember.  So the plan is to do the Folli.stim injection tonight and tomorrow night then go back to the RE for another ultrasound and more bloodwork on Thursday.  My nurse feels like I'll be ready to trigger on Thursday night and the IUI will be Saturday morning.  EEK!!  Can't believe it's already time again.

Oh and by the way, if you're wondering about my lining...."It's great".  Those were my nurses exact words.  Today it measured at a 7.2 and she said it would continue to thicken as the follies grow.  Plus, the trigger shot will help prepare it for implantation.  Not sure if this is due to my shorter period this month or the blueberry pom juice I've been drinking everyday.  Who knows? Who cares??

I really hope this is it.  I have a good feeling about this cycle.  I feel like it's finally okay to have some hope. 

Thursday, August 19, 2010

IUI Cycle #2

I went in for my CD 3 bloodwork and ultrasound yesterday.  My ovaries looked good, which was a relief since I thought my right one was trying to kill me.  Then the nurse called around lunch to tell my E and FSH levels were okay and to continue with our plan. 

As promised, I went to the appointment armed with my list of questions.  Here we go:

  1. Can we change my Foll.istim dosage to increase the number of follies?
    1. No.  "Everything looked good" last cycle and we're hoping for a BFP this month.  With my PCOS, they don't want to up my dosage due to the risk of OHSS.
  2. Can I get meds to help with my lining thickness?
    1. No.  My lining was fine by the time the IUI took place.
      1. But have no doubt, I will be drinking POM juice like it's water the next week or so.
  3. Is there any reason NOT to do an IUI before meeting with Dr. L again on the 31st?
    1. "Absolutely not".  Basically he knew how long it would take to get an appointment and didn't want us to have to sit out a cycle while waiting for a consult. 
So I guess I'll be doing everything the same as last cycle.  Shots CD 3 - 8, monitoring appointment CD 9.  If I respond as quickly as last month, I could be doing IUI #2 a week from today. 

Although my Rx meds are the same, I'm thinking about taking brome.lain tablets to aid in implantation.  I've read a lot about women drinking pineapple core smoothies for this, but I'd rather get the supplement and drink with water.  Anyone out there tried pinapple core smoothies or brome.lain tablets before?

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Feeling a little overwhelmed

So I thought I was okay with last cycle's BFN.  Then last night, Mr. MBC and I had a little tiff, nothing major and over something completely ridiculous.  After the silence standoff, he and I were talking and I just broke down.  I have cried for 5 days straight.  While I'm an emotional person and where my heart on my sleeve, I'm not a crybaby!

Somethings that came out of mine and Mr. MBC's talk....

  • I've realized that I've been oblivious to the let-down he feels as each month passes.  I guess since I talk about it, blog about it, and think about it all.the.time., I forgot that he doesn't have a child on the way either.
  • Also, I realized that IF is a "personal" matter to Mr. MBC.  My real life friend, K, and I started our last cycle within 3 days of each other and did the same protocol.  She and I would text several times a day about stuff.  Mr. MBC is not a fan of texting, so I just thought that was where his frustration came from.  Not from the fact that I was discussing our "personal" issues with someone else.
  • Mr. MBC pointed out to me that I no longer say "When we have a kid..." but rather I've started saying "If we have a kid....".  He thinks that this battle has turned me into a different person.  I'm typically very optimistic and look at the best case scenario.  While I feel like that's who I am still, I don't approach IF with that same attitude.  I honestly feel defeated.  And I don't know how to get over that feeling.
  • We discussed IVF and decided that we would figure out a way to make the financial side of it work if our journey comes to that. 
I'm looking forward to my baseline appointment tomorrow.  I have quite the list of questions to ask my nurse since she and I have been playing phone tag for the past 2 days.  I give up and well just take time in the morning to talk things through with her.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Sorry I've been MIA...

I've been a bad blogger.  School has started back and I've been swamped.  I wear a lot of different hats at my school.  I pinky-promise to do better.  So let's play catch up.....

  • I survived the cysts from hell (obviously).  I'm interested to see what's going on in there.
  • I had my beta last Friday and it was negative.  After lots of tears, I think I'm ready to move forward with IUI #2.  I just hope the cysts are gone and I'm not on the bench for a cycle.
  • Today is CD 1.  AF came to town in full force. 
I haven't had the chance to talk to my nurse or RE since getting my BFFN message on Friday.  My message said the RE wanted Mr. MBC and I to make an appointment to come in and talk to him, but we could do the same protocol for this cycle if we want.  Of course, I immediately wonder "what's wrong?"  But Mr. MBC reminded me that Dr. L said if we didn't have a BFP after 2 IUIs that he'd want us to come and discuss options including an exploratory lap.  I'm hoping Dr. L knew how long it would take for us to get in and was thinking ahead just in case.  I can't imagine that he would let us go on with another IUI cycle if he didn't think it would work.

Fingers crossed that my CD 3 appointment goes well on Wednesday and the shots can commence.  I'm hoping to talk to my nurse about two major concerns of mine:

  1. Lining - At my last CD 9 ultrasound, the nurse commented that lining was thin, but I had only stopped bleeding two days before that.  I'm going to do a little research (read: obsess) regarding how to help my lining.  I've tried drinking POM, but I wonder what else is out there.
  2. Follistim Dosage - I'm hoping to convince Dr L to up my dosage, but only a little.  I'm hoping by doing so, I'll have more follies and have better odds.  I mean, if one egg and 20 million sperm can't make it work, what can it hurt??  Mr. MBC and I have talked and we're okay with multiples.  I'd be okay if we never had to deal IF treatments again.
Lastly, I'd like to congratulate the following ladies on their recent BFPs:



And a real-life friend, K, that was 3 days behind me in her IUI cycle.  She found out about her BFP today.  I'm so excited for her and it renews my hope since we have the same RE.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

It's been a while...

What a crazy week!  School is about to start again and I've been going here and there, working in my classroom, buying school supplies for my students.  Needless to say, I'm exhausted!  I've done more in the past 5 days than I did for most of July.

I'm currently 6 days past our first IUI.  I have some minor cramping this week and my stomach as been tender to the touch.  I wasn't concerned because I'm heard or read about others having similar experiences.  Fast forward to yesterday around 4:30 pm.  I thought I was dying....severe pain, nausea, tears.  I was out buying my baby brother a belated graduation gift.  I was happily shopping, browsing, and deciding on the perfect gift for his new bachelor pad.  Then BAM!  I thought I was going to pass out from the pain.  And of course, I was alone.  I took a minute to regain my composure and then made my way out of the store.  As I drove back to my brother's apartment, I was crying from the pain. By the time I got back, the pain had eased up.  I wiped my face, wiped the smeared eyeliner and made the trek up the 3 flights of stairs.  By the time I got to the top my pain was in full force again.  In the apartment, my mom, dad and brother were working to unpack the 100s of boxes my brother has (seriously - I didn't have half as much stuff when I was 22).  The minute I walked in my mom knew something was wrong.  I told her about the sharp pain and grabbed some Gat.orade and took 2 Tyl.enol. 

After about 30 minutes of lying still, the pain eased up.  About that time Mr. MBC called to say he was on his way back to the apartment.  I said "OK", then he said "What's wrong?"  I told him my stomach was really hurting.  When he arrived he came to the bedroom to check on me.  And this is one of the reasons I love him...he said "Are you sure it's not gas?  Do you need to poop?".  Regardless of the situation, he can make me laugh, which turned out to the worst thing I could have done at that point.  Mr. MBC asked if I wanted him to call my RE or go to the ER.  I told him no, just take me home.  I took Tyl.enol every 4 hours throughout the night. 

I called my RE's office this morning because Mr. MBC and I were convinced that I had OHSS.  When the nurse called me back, she told me that it was unlikely because my estridol levels were not that high.  (Apparently it has to be over 1000 or so to raise a flag.)  She went on to explain that it was most likely a cyst or two, specifically a corpus luteum cyst.  She told me to continue the Tyl.enol every 4 hours, rest, and refrain from sex until the pain was gone.  If the pain gets worse, I'm supposed to call back.

Here's the kicker.....I've got 8 days until my beta, but I'll probably test Thursday or Friday morning.  The nurse said if the beta is negative and I stop the progesterone, the symptoms will go away quickly and my period should take care of the cyst(s).  However, if the beta is positive the symptoms will continue for another 2 or 3 weeks. 

Damn Catch 22!  But I'd rather have a baby and be in pain than have pain from not having a baby.

Monday, August 2, 2010

IUI #1 - Complete!

Mr. MBC and I headed to the RE's office bright and early yesterday.  Mr. MBC had to provide his sample first so they could wash and prep it for the IUI.  Let's just say, I was shocked....I had no idea that I could go into the room and "assist" with Mr. MBC collecting his sample.  When the nurse asked if I was coming in, I could feel my face turn 5 different shades of red.  Given, everyone at the RE's office is there to make babies, but I was still embarassed. 

Almost 2 hours later, Mr. MBC and I were called back into the procedure room.  The nurse began by doing an ultrasound to make sure the HCG trigger had done its job.  She showed us the fluid that was leaking from the follicles.  She said it looked like my two smaller ones caught up for a total of 3 follies! 

The RE finally came in and said the post wash count was good (20 million!!) and the morph report would be available today.  He said the count was so high that he wasn't too concerned with the morph. 

The IUI itself was easy.  It felt very similar to a pap smear with a small pinch.  I had some cramping yesterday and still have some today.  Before Dr. L left the room, he said "I'm hoping for some good news in about 10 days" with a big smile on  his face.  You and me both Dr. L, you and me both.

I know this 2 WW will be one of the longest of the past year.  I'm very hopeful about this cycle, but I'm trying to be cautious and not get my hopes up too high.  I'm already debating if I'm going to test out my trigger and test early.  Decisions, decisions.